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By Najib Wahab

Life is learnt by moving backwards!

I started playing chess when I was 6 or 7 years old, from seeing my cousins and uncles pitting their mind power against one another, on the balcony of my late grandparents 'kampung' house in Pontian. At school, I remembered bullying kids my age when I have a winning position, and as much as I dislike it, I can also recall moments where I would break down in tears when a fellow classmate did the same thing to me. Considering that I was relatively good in chess while I was in my primary school, I can't remember ever participating in any actual chess tournament under the MSSM banner. I guess chess was not that popular then or maybe because I was inclined to be involved in other activities i.e. boys scout and soccer, that made me oblivious of the existence of chess tournaments. 

My interest in chess bloomed in 1977 and the one person that made it happen was Mohd Noor Yahya, MSSM Chess Champion from 1976 until 1978 (I need to check the years again but that should be about right). I will not dwell so much on how it had happened but enough to say that Mohd Noor played a very crucial role in providing me the initial interest to take up chess as a sport. I guess it was one of those early Monday school assembly where the chess teacher would speak endlessly about how proud the school is on Mohd Noor's achievement as MSSM Champion, and they would call him up the stage to receive a trophy or acknowledgement from
the school principal, and all the unknown places outside of Malaysia that he has gone to represent the country. Bobby Fischer may have also played a part in creating that interest but not as much as what Mohd Noor had done because Mohd Noor is easily accessible (his dorm room is a block away from mine) and he was a real figure, a real person, someone who is very willing to share his knowledge and experiences with younger students who are interested in the game. I still keep in touch with Mat Noor (as I would fondly address him as) every now and then, and sadly, he still calls me "Bijan" - my name spelt backwards, whenever I see him.

I stopped playing chess between 1982 and 1984, during my first 3 years in the States. And by accident, It was in Spring Semester in 1985, during one of those transition walks from one class to another, having to cut across the University cafeteria where I saw a group of student
crowding around a table at a quiet corner, with the familiar thumping noise of chess pieces crashing onto a chess clock, and the rattling sound of strewn pieces hitting the floor as the game gets into time scramble. Intrigued, I approach the table and smiled as I saw the familiar set up of a 64 alternate colored dark and white squares, upon which we have 2
sets of opposite colored 16 plastic chess pieces a side, and a device which has 2 analogue clocks with 2 button on top of the box that stops one clock and starts the other as you hit, press or almost always, bang the button. 

So I sat quietly on one of the vacant chair and looking at the way the guys were playing, I was very confident that I should be able to take them on. Of course... Being a stranger, I did not say anything but merely smiled when someone make a winning move and grin when the crowd jeered the loser. It went on for about 2 or 3 games when one of the guys uttered the magical question... "Would you like to take on the next winner?" I smile, nodded (and said "Yup!" at the same time) and took up the offer without hesitation. Once a winner emerged, I took on the losing seat and arranged the pieces as my opponent - the winner and privileged
to be playing white - prepared the clock. Soon after everything was ready, off we went! That was probably be my first chess game after more than 2 years, the last being while I was in Lower Six at school. For someone who has left the game that long, I did really well, winning 6 games in a row (3 opponents, 2 games each) and I was really impressed with myself. But the magic faded and soon after, I lost my first game. But it was enough to create an impression, and it left most of the group at awe because there I was, a stranger in a strange land, taking on the regulars at their game, beating them rather easily. I guess the group started to catch on my playing style, because I have not played for so long that the moves that I made seemed illogical to them (and to me - because it was purely instinct) and they proceeded with caution, spending a bit more time to comprehend the dubious moves that I have made. The
caution, the worry and the extra time spent were perhaps what made them lost their games because I played for fun, with no pressure to win nor will I be humiliated if I were to loose considering that I have not played for so long. For these regulars at the table, there were scared of being a victim to this newcomer, this stranger who has showed up at their party and pooped it! But after a while, reality set in and they realized that the fancy moves I made, the out of the book theory that I used were mere disguise. And the awe diminished, the impressive feeling waned and I became the everyday mortal player but one singular thing
strengthened, the friendship.

I have made a lot of friends (and likewise, I have also made a handful of enemies!!) through playing chess, as player, organizer and arbiter. The one thing that I notice is that chess player's egos are rather big and enormous, the better they are at playing the game, the bigger are their egos. But then again, that is the reason most good players become good, otherwise they wouldn't have become so great. Its like a package deal - the big ego comes with the talent. Look at Bobby Fischer and his famous saying as to why he loves playing and winning at chess - "... because I want to crush their ego", and crushed them he did. Strong word
used - crush! Its not "beat" or "out maneuvered" or "out play", its crush. But that does not mean that chess players are not friendly and just because they love crushing or squashing other people's ego, it does not mean they are bad or ice-cold and icy people. Most of it is just the person's surface but once you managed to go beneath that layer, you will realize that most chess players are fun to be with, witty, intelligent and a bit on the whacky side. By the way, whacky is also a familiar trait for many chess players *grin*. Having a big ego is important for chess players because unlike wrestling, or rugby, where you can intimidate your opponent because of their sheer sizes (if you have that size), you are not able to do that in chess. Everyone, on average, have about the same brain size and it is difficult to convince people that the way his/her brain works is better than the other person because other
than its size (and maybe age - because the brain improves and becomes wiser with age... usually!), there is almost no visible way to project and "show" how your brain can work better than your opponent. IQ test results or MENSA tests are not enough because at the end of the day, its how you play the game over the board hence enter the mind game, the ego
game, to intimidate your opponent and informing him (or her) that you are better - the arrogant look, the stare, the "you are nothing" kind of attitude. There was a memorable game between Karpov and Korchnoi where the latter offer his hand for a handshake - customary before the start of any game, and the former just looked at him, ignore the handshake and
made his move on the board. Yup! Korchnoi lost that game and left the playing hall in disgust! I always wanted to do that but never had the heart to actually execute it. It would be fun wouldn't it? I guess that is why I am not Anatoly Karpov, more like I-know-only Drop-Ov. 

But in all honesty, in order to be a good chess player, aside from the mind game, you also have to be ruthless and ready to pounce at the first opportunity (just like Karpov). You have to be mean and cruel to create a dent to your opponent's ego and confidence, and crush him without hesitation (Just like Fischer). Being kind is not good in chess because by being kind, you may let your opponent get away. There is no need to bully your opponent and make his king going around the corner and checkmate him in 20 moves when you can do it in 2 because why waste time? Why spare him that moment? Get it over and done with! I remembered a
game between a National Master and a junior player in one tournament some years ago where instead of promoting his pawn, he decided to be smart and took a bishop instead to prove that he can mate his opponent in less than 50 moves using bishop and knight. He was lucky because he made it just before the counter hits 50, with a couple of moves to spare. Once
he finished his game, sighing with relief, he looked at me and sort of yelling (but softly done) "Next time, remind me NOT to do that again!"

Age makes you wiser and for that, I have become more rational and more realistic about my playing ability, and respect for my opponents regardless of his/her age, size, gender or rating (not that I have never respected any of them before *LOL* but it has become more clearer now). Sometimes when playing chess, you have to forego friendship but only for that moment in time. I remembered playing a so-called friend some years back where my opponent wanted to have a draw and insisted that as friends, we should draw. I looked at him and continuously ask him to continue playing. Of course, he was angry at me because he was counting on me
agreeing him to a draw and because of that, he was playing rather badly. I did not remember agreeing to a draw else, I would have, but he assumed that I would. We still remained friends (or acquaintance) after that but as time lapsed, I have lost touched with him. On a different note, I do notice that some young players, when paired with a better player, will start sighing and resign to the fact that he will lose his game when in reality, the game has not even started! By having that thought, I can safely say that half your game is already lost! Maybe its a reverse psychology thingy, in hope to pump that extra adrenalin and extra effort but sometimes, when a player already have that kind of thought, the mind will subconsciously follow and almost always, the brain will play to lose. The best advice is perhaps to be prepared, think of a game plan, and play the opponent as per what the board has given you and not playing against the higher rating point, the reputation or the idol figure that you have created. Good players know when to resign and I hold that as a true fact and I do practice it (most of the time where I can *smile*).

Losing or winning is a learning process and chess gives you that great opportunity to do so. It is often thought that chess can help build someone's character, how a person deals with real life situation and I do believe that it has some, if not a lot of truth to it. Indeed, looking
back at the time when I first learned to play chess and reflecting it on life, it would have been good to have a Sicilian way to deal with difficult situations, or a French Defense to help you when a relationship is not working out, or a Ruy Lopez to advice you the best career move
to make, how to skewer your boss for a raise, force mate a girl for date or fianchetto your feelings when faced with an emotional event. I saw this phrase while I was in Helsinki some years back and it is so true whether it is for life, or for chess:

"Life is learnt by moving backwards. But life is such that it has to move forward"

So my fellow friends, chess players or otherwise, chess game just like life, needs to be planned properly so that all moves are properly thought of and evaluated carefully because once you have committed to a move and executed it, you can't take it back and the consequences is for you to bear or to enjoy. Even though my chess skills have not improved
much since I first took that move when I was 6 or 7 years old, I am sure that chess has - in its own mysterious, funny and mind boggling ways - helped me in my life, in going through the trials and tribulation, the triumphs and the defeats, the joy and sadness that life can offer. My
only regret is that, my chess playing skills is not as successful and colorful as my real life is - albeit the bumps and roller coaster dives that I have experienced and taken, because otherwise, I would have become a Grandmaster.